“Owning our story can be hard but
not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our
vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging
and joy – the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are
brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our
light.” – Brené Brown
This is my favorite quote by my
favorite social worker, Brené Brown. Brené's work focuses on guilt, shame, vulnerability,
courage and whole-hearted living and she is phenomenal! Please check out here
work http://brenebrown.com/ and watch her
TED talks (you will not be disappointed).
This quote hit me so hard the
first time I read it, I swear I gasped. It was me – 100% but I know I’m not
alone with this. I spent and still spend a lot of time making sure that
everyone sees my “best side” and that I carefully fold and tuck away those
parts of me that I don’t want anyone to know about. Why do we do this? Why do we spend so much
time perfecting our outside appearance? Because judgment SUCKS. Everyone at
some point in their life has probably had something awful said to them and let
me tell you – one negative judgment magically wipes out 100’s of positive
compliments. All of the sudden you forget all the good about you and are zeroed
in on whatever that negative judgment was about plus all those other
insecurities you try so hard to tuck away and hide. This is where Brené Brown’s
genius comes in; this is the vulnerability she is talking about. This isn't the vulnerability we think of in
the medial sense (being at risk for an illness) but instead is about taking
emotional risks and putting our true self out there – scary parts and all.
That’s where it gets hard and
is something I believe is always a work in progress, at least it is for me, but
Brené is right- if we don’t allow ourselves to be vulnerable then we miss out
on so much more. When those hurtful, awful, negative comments come – and they
will because unfortunately there will always be people out there who are not
secure and vulnerable with themselves yet – we need to dust ourselves off, hold our heads high and
say (at least to yourself) that every single piece of what makes us up, even
the parts we don’t yet love, makes us who we are, which is an awesome, wonderful
person.
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